Just about every American, Republican and Democrat alike, conservatives
and liberals and even all three Americans in between (aka centrists), are
scratching their heads still trying to figure out how something as basic as
closing our borders to illegal (unidentified) entry, could be overlooked by so
many bright folks, especially at a time when our country is under attack from multi-national
Allegedly, the smartest folks in our land, politicians, (I said
allegedly), can’t seem to agree on what to do about a growing illegal
invasion of the U.S.
borders. They have come up with literally dozens of wasteful spending spree
proposals under the guise of border enforcement, but not a single one has
managed to stop the rising tide of illegal and sometimes lethal invaders. Yet
we are spending trillions to allegedly secure this nation from future terror
attacks? (I said allegedly…)
The best idea offered by a politician to date is the idea of running
for office on the issue nobody else has done anything about. Not that they will
do anything either, after the election. Like shrinking the size and scope of
our runaway federal government and returning the people their rightful earnings,
it’s been done before; the broken promises I mean.
Oh sure, we have sent more troops to the border to demonstrate just how
serious we are about closing that border. Unfortunately, we sent those troops along
with an order not to engage the invaders under any circumstances. We have two
border patrol agents sitting in prison right this minute for overlooking that
directive in their employee manual. They thought they were actually supposed to
stop invaders from coming in, stupid them… Didn’t they read the campaign
signs reading “FREE
STUFF, education, medicine, food, come one come all” (paid for by the
Democratic National Committee)?
The discussion seems to be focused on the idea of a border fence now.
You know, just like the one Reagan told Gorbachev to tear down in Berlin.
A 700 mile long example of America’s
freedom and strength. Another billion dollar idea from the folks who never met
a tax they didn’t like or a dollar they wouldn’t confiscate, for
the greater good of course.
Well, I have a better idea and it won’t cost a fraction of any
proposal currently on the table or any others our spendthrift leaders can come
up with. We don’t need a new fence, we need a new message. We need to
simply communicate better.
For starters, take down the “Open for Invasion” signs
blinking around the globe like a beacon seeking takers hoping to visit at our
expense. When an illegal intruder shows up at the hospital emergency room,
don’t treat them and send the bill to American tax-payers, many of whom
live without health coverage themselves. Arrest them and put them on a high-speed
deportation out of here!
When illegal intruders show up at our public schools, don’t
register them like any other LEGAL child of a tax-paying parent. Arrest them
and drop them back at the border with a one way bus ticket to Vicente
Fox’s private compound.
When they show up looking for a driver’s license, or a job, or
food at the market, or a new set of chrome Cragar rims for their low-rider,
arrest them and deport them. If they are not here “legally”, they
are here “illegally”. Any doubt about that?
There’s no need for lengthy trials or incarcerations at tax-payer
expense. Give them a free token home and even one last free Big Mac with fries
for the ride if that makes you feel more socially conscious. Give them a
“thanks for coming, come again soon” card from Hallmark, along with
a free brochure on how to return to the greatest nation on earth,
“legally” next time.
As for the new comers; they should have come sooner, like before we
decided to actually behave like a sovereign nation concerned about our own
future, our so-called rule of law and the security of “legal” law
We don’t need a fence and we shouldn’t want one.
If we stop rewarding illegal intruders with free stuff and begin
putting them on a fast ride out of here, America
won’t look so attractive for those seeking only what America
can do for them.
Now for the main message… We need the right headlines, not a
Six months of global daily body count headlines and stories about how
many illegal intruders were shot dead today while trying to break into America
should do it. Look how unpopular daily body counts made Iraq.
The whole world checks the headlines every morning to see how many died the day
before. If it worked for Iraq,
it can work here, especially since our press can’t wait to print those
daily numbers atop page 1A.
Next, mark all “legal” points of entry in BIG BOLD
BRIGHT signs. Make our southern border crossings look like Saturday night in Tijuana,
so that anyone wanting to visit America
“legally” knows where to go and feels welcome.
Then, mark the rest of the border with signs reading, va a casa ahora!no habla español!tengo el fusil! (Go look it up gringo!)
At a cost of about 15 cents a piece ($15.00 a piece in federal currency), we
can place one every quarter mile from the Pacific to the Atlantic.
Last, fill the international headlines with bloody daily body counts,
just like Iraq.
Better yet, dig Dan Rather out of early retirement and dust him off, imbed him
with the troops and border patrol down on the target range – I mean
border, make him special agent in charge of feeding fresh daily footage to CNN
and all their copycat networks. We should learn something from Iraq,
But unlike Iraq,
don’t wait until they have both feet on our sovereign soil before
shooting. Remember, outside of Iraq’s
borders, they are called “terrorists”. But once in Iraq,
they are called “insurgents” or “freedom fighters”.
When someone is found sniffing around our border, not near a
“legal” point of entry, the minute they look like they are about to
set foot across the line, fire! Pay the Minutemen $10.00 a head for every one
they hit before getting both feet across.
I guarantee it - six months of headlines like that and our border will
be secure, without a fence. It will cost American tax-payers less than a single
Nancy Pelosi airliner. Bush could even afford to approve a jet for every member
of the Pelosi family, as requested, with all the savings.
Now I know what some of you are thinking… This might make some of
our friends around the world upset. Well, according to all the headlines
I’ve been reading, we have no friends in the world already. So what’s
We’ll still have no friends in the world. But we will have our
Sound crazy because you have not had a chance to think it through yet,
let me help.
If you show up in my home uninvited and unannounced, and I don’t
know who you are, I promise, you won’t get the second foot down on my
carpet before you have a major problem on your hands, an irreversible problem.
I don’t know about you, but America
is MY home. We have every right to defend it. We have a responsibility to
uphold and enforce the rule of law that we established. And before you can
expect anyone else to respect our laws, you will have to show respect for those
laws yourself. If we can’t expect our elected officials to respect and
uphold the laws they pass, what good are they?
Legal immigration is a part of our nation’s heritage and foundation.
But illegal immigration is an entirely different story and we can not allow it to
continue without consequence. If our laws mean nothing to us, they will mean
nothing to anyone else! Think about that!
Finally, if you want to use the illegal immigration issue as just
another means of stripping revenue from American businesses by fining those who
hire illegal immigrants, ask yourself this question.
Should we fine the companies that allow these people to put food on
their families table through honest work, or should we fine those who use the
newly American lure of free medicine, education, food and social security to
attract more partisan voters at great tax-payer expense?
Insane thinking? Maybe…
But not as insane as thinking we can stop the next 9/11 while thousands
of unknown uninvited and unidentified intruders pour across that southern
border faster than we can round them up…
And for my globally focused intolerantly tolerant socially aware but immorally
sound friends who love the UN more than the US, you folks always eager to be so
generous with other peoples earnings, keep one thing in mind. America
is the greatest nation on earth because we made it that way. Lifestyles in
other nations are the fruits of their own decisions as well.
We built our country and they built theirs. We (most Americans) are not
the least interested in a trade.